Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
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