she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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