We're facebook friends in real life
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
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