4 words: hood of his car
he thought i was a dude.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
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