Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Randomize
