just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
