soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
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I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
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My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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