If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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