I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
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We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
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i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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