suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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