D3 body, D1 cock
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Randomize