She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
