No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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