people are starting to question the shark bite story
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
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