The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
