The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize