I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
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