bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Randomize
