Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
