i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
is this the sara with the beer cane?
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
