Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Woke up backwards on a recliner
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Randomize
