from now on my penis is your penis
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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