tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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