she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
