You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
