the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
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