How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
