my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
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and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
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There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
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