Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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