I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I'm at about main and main street
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
