And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
