thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize