yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
