That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Randomize
