I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
