so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
