Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
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