Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
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