yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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