This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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