I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Randomize
