Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
