The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
