Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
