I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
