elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
