You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
