The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Randomize
