we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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