I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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