I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Randomize
