Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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