Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
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