I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
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