whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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