There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
