they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
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