He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
