Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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