im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Randomize
