The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Randomize
