A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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