All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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