If i come over, it means nothing
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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