I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
