Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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