I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
