im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
high people should be assigned attendants
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Randomize
