bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
