wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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