i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Randomize