ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Randomize
