This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
